That Moment When…

Well hello there, world.  It’s been awhile.  Since we moved in July there’s been a whirlwind of activity around here.  Unpacking, the start of Kindergarten, and oh – having a fourth baby to name a few.  Throw in a 6th birthday and a few major holidays and we’ve got one heck of a mess on our hands.  Our friends and family have been overwhelmingly supportive during this crazy hectic season of life.  For starters my dear M-I-L practically moved in to help out with the kids during my last month of a very uncomfortable pregnancy.  Then she & my F-I-L took over getting our Kindergartener to and from school.  Since baby’s birth there have been meals and cards and prayers and gifts and diapers and cute little onesies too plentiful to count from people too plentiful to count.  They are always asking, “How are you?” or “How do you do it?”  Even random strangers in Target like to chime in, “You’ve got your hands full!”  Well, yes.  Yes I do.

In those moments it’s been fun to drop the “three under 3” line in my response to their questions.  Like, “Oh, I’m as good as can be expected with three under three. ”   Or, “Yep!  Three under 3 is part of my workout plan!”  I hashtag pictures and text messages #3under3.  But tomorrow that changes.

Tomorrow we will celebrate our littlest girl’s third birthday.  This means that I can no longer use the #3under3 hashtag.  Somehow #three3andunder doesn’t have the same ring.  In honor of this momentus occasion, I’d like to share a real glimpse of what it’s like with three under 3.  Not my polite quips in response to well intentioned questions, but the real, ugly truth.  Because let’s face it – sometimes having lots of little ones is just plain ugly.  Sometimes it’s cry-in-the-shower-because-I’m-failing-at-everything ugly.  On the flip side, sometimes it’s glorious and I check my reflection in the mirror for a cape.  In those moments, I only answer to Supermom because I’m invincible.  But more often, having three under 3 is elbows-deep-in-diapers-and-snot-and-meltdowns-{and those are just mine}-ugly.

I first noticed this when my 2 year old wandered out of my bathroom with my sitz bath on her head like a hat.  I was nursing the baby and powerless to stop it.  It was then that I started a note in my phone titled, “That Moment When”.  I’ve been using it to catalog all the ridiculous moments during my day that 1. I just can’t make up and 2. I don’t want to forget.  Some of these have happened in the past two months.  Some have happened over the course of my motherhood career.  Some of them I forgot to write down.  Some of them I deleted because I still can’t bring myself to share them.

So here’s a sampling, in no particular order.  That moment when…

• Your 2 yr old comes out of the bathroom wearing your sitz bath on her head like a hat.
• You find socks in the toilet.  The toilet is also full of unflushed pee.
• You realize your 2 yr old has thrown not one, but two of her shoes out of the stroller somewhere along your walk.  And both her socks.
• Your 3 month old poops through one outfit and pukes on a second while you’re trying to get out the door on your first day back to work.
• You melt your breast pump parts because you were so exhausted that you fell asleep while they were sterilizing on the stove.
• Those two things happen on the same day.
• At lunch your 2 yr old asks where her pea went then informs you she lodged it in her nose, so far that you have to head to the ER.
• Your 2 yr old wears your breast pads like goggles.
• Your 2 yr old puts those same breast pads on the baby like a yamaka.
• You get to preschool and your 2 yr old is missing a shoe.  You know it was on when you left the house but now it’s nowhere to be found.  You later realize she threw it out of the car on the ride.
• Your 2 yr old refuses to wear anything but princess shoes, even in the dead of winter when it’s legitimately -11 degrees outside.
• People ask if they’re all yours.
• You find your sneaker in the kitchen sink.

• Your potty training 2 yr old has an accident, your 1 yr old comes to you with a very stinky poopy diaper, and your newborn spits up copiously on you.  Simultaneously.
• Your 19 month old climbs into the {unlit} fireplace while you’re nursing the baby and emerges a soot-covered mongrel.
• Your two yr old never comes home with the hair bow she left the house wearing.  N.e.v.e.r.  Why?!
• You find your two yr old’s missing hair bow in the dollar bins at Target.  A week after she lost it.
• Your 1 yr old tries to eat an unpeeled clementine like an apple.
• Your two yr old wakes up from her nap.  Naked.
• You find your shoe in the sink.  Again.
• Your 20 month old empties an entire box of raisin bran on the kitchen floor.
• Your 2 year old helps him eat it.

So to answer those who asked, “How do you do it?” the answer is simply – I don’t.  Just take a look at that list above.  And if it ever appears I’m doing it, you should probably be here to witness the chaos.  You should also thank my husband and then hug him.  He puts up with a lot.  Then thank the incredible network of support I mentioned above.  They are monumental in keeping my sanity.  Also, you can’t see my laundry room.  Or my tears.  Sometimes stuff just doesn’t get done.  Sometimes I’m ok with that.  Sometimes I’m not.

The moral of the story?  Four kids with three under 3 is no joke.  It is not for the faint of heart.  You need your big girl pants before you hop on this train.

But isn’t that true for all of motherhood?  Doesn’t each stage – no matter how many kids you have, or how old they are – present its own set of unique challenges?  So friends, keep that in mind and be kind to one another.  Hold the door open when you see a young mom struggling to get her stroller through it.  Her nerves are on edge because she just had to nurse her baby in the car while the two other little ones screamed in their car seats.

Smile, don’t scoff, when a young mom’s toddler is melting down at the grocery store.  She doesn’t want her toddler to be freaking out either but have you ever tried to get a 2 year old to do what you want them to do?  Exactly.  She’s exhausted from trying.

Let a young mom go ahead of you in line at Kohl’s when her baby is crying.  She may feel completely alone even though she’s surrounded by people.  A simple act of kindness can help stave off tears and instead bring a smile to her face.

The people who do those things exist.  I’ve met them.  Hats off to you, kind strangers.  Hats off to everyone in my circle who has helped me and other mamas in big ways and in small.  Hats off to husbands {mine especially} who deserve medals.  It’s because of you that I, that we all, sometimes appear to have our act together and love our little ones even during the #3under3 moments.

That moment when…people are awesome.