Baby, it’s cold outside. We’re headed for subzero temps in my Pennsylvania town and the kiddos and I are going stir crazy inside. I long for warmer days when my little ones can burn off some steam at the playground instead of wrestling each other in the playroom. It makes me remember a particular warm, playground day last September.
This September day was also “one of those days.” Parents, you smell what I’m stepping on?
You know the kind.
The kind you wish had been caught on film so that you could show your children someday saying, “See? See what I mean?!” September 27, 2013 was one of those days. I just can’t make this stuff up.
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It starts as a normal day except that Natalie (the little girl I care for) is going to a doctor’s appointment with her dad and meeting up with me later in the day. That means only 4 kids to schlep to preschool, a play date, and back. Easy. Well…easier.
8:00 Nathan (the little guy I watch) arrives and a few minutes later we have breakfast. (I should stop right here. Feeding four children 4 years and younger in about 20 minutes deserves a little holla in itself. Holla!)
8:30 Begin the process of donning shoes, jackets, finding backpacks and getting buckled into carseats. The weather is glorious (thank you Lord!) which makes this process so much easier.
9:00 Work with another babysitter to get Eva, Nathan, and two other preschoolers into two different classrooms while one of us stays with the other kids in our cars. Whew! Now off to the play date.
9:15 Pull into the parking lot of our local park. Put Micah (6 mos) into the baby carrier and get Nora (21 mos) out of the car to play on the playground. My good friend Erin arrives with her newborn and I pretend to chat while I’m actually completely distracted by Nora on the playground. She’s fearless. Scares the pee out of me.
10:00 Strap Nora and Micah into the double stroller and go for a walk with Erin. Usually I’m wearing Micah while I push Natalie & Nora in the stroller. This is a cakewalk! Erin and I talk about mommy things while I distractedly hand Nora her drink or a snack when she starts fussing. All normal. All easy.
11:00 Arrive back at the car feeling accomplished that I’ve managed to keep Nora (mostly) happy for the walk and that my back isn’t aching from wearing AND pushing babies. Wait. Where are your shoes, Nora? WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?! And you were wearing socks, right?! Where are they?! I search the stroller. I look all around us. Nowhere. How did she so stealthily throw both shoes and socks out of the stroller?! Apparently Nora is a hybrid of a ninja and Tom Brady.
11:05 I realize I have 15 minutes before I absolutely need to leave the playground in order to make it to preschool pick-up. Erin & I retrace our route in reverse like madwomen and oh! There’s one sock! In a few more paces I find a shoe. Oh! There’s the other one. No second sock, but at this point I’m cutting my losses and getting outta here.
11:20 Wave goodbye to Erin and pull out of the parking lot. Get a call from Natalie’s dad. They’ll meet me at school.
11:30 Arrive at preschool in time to get Natalie, Nathan, and Eva packed up into the car. Mentally I gear up for the next hour. The lunch hour in our house is crazy on a good day and it’s shaping up to be crazier than normal.
11:45 Arrive at home. Eva & Nathan know the drill – they take off their shoes & backpacks then go wash their hands. Nathan takes his socks off, too. Funny guy. I schlep the other three from the car to their booster seats, checking diapers along the way. No one’s poopy! Score.
12:00 Lunch is served to the kids with little squabbling. No one is upset about the way their sandwich was cut or about how many grapes they got. I nurse Micah while the bigger kids eat, tossing refills onto their plates like they’re trained seals and I’m tossing them fish.
12:30 Natalie is in bed for her nap. I collect Nathan from the playroom to help him get ready for his nap. He tells me he went to the potty already. Sweet! All he needs is a pull-up now. Down come his pants and… WHERE ARE YOUR UNDERWEAR, Nathan?! He tells me he left them at school. Now, this is a child who often completely disrobes from the waist down when he uses the bathroom. Somehow, I’m not shocked that he’s left his underwear at school. I can just imagine them bunched in a corner of a bathroom stall. How am I going to tell his mom, though? How does that conversation go? “Sooo…good news, Nathan is independently using the bathroom. Bad news, he’s going commando.” What the flip?!
12:45 Oh well. Who cares about the underwear right now, he needs to nap. On goes the pull-up, we read a story, find the ONE green truck he must have to nap and then there’s nothing but silence.
1:00 Oh wait. No, that wasn’t silence. That was the toilet lid. I assume Eva is using the bathroom until I see Nora wander out of it. Cripes. Who left the bathroom door open?! This cannot be good. I check her hands. They’re dry. Whew! At least she wasnt splashing around in toilet water. I look in the toilet, just in case. Nathan’s socks! And, NO MY GOSH…he didn’t flush when he used the bathroom earlier. NATHAN’S SOCKS are floating in PEE! I do what any sane, rational mother does. I scoop them out with my bare hands. (What? I couldn’t flush them!) As I rinse them I start thinking about how I’m going to tell his mom about this. As if the underwear fiasco wasn’t enough.
1:30 After a thorough hand-washing Nora goes to bed for her nap. I get Micah out of his exersaucer. Poor kid’s been watching all of this like a fly on the wall. I say a quick prayer of thanks that he is so laid back. Seriously, the kid deserves a medal. Into his room we head for his naptime routine.
2:00 I’m cleaning up the toy room and…wait…what’s this? Nathan’s underwear. Stuffed into a ball bin. And again I say, what the flip?! How? Where…? Whatever. At least it’s one less thing to explain to his mom.
2:10 My text message alert sounds. It’s from Erin. “Did another loop around the park after you left. Found the sock!”
2:15 Put on a TV show for Eva and have a glass of wine. (At least that’s how I wanted it to end. But alas, you know it didn’t.)
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I would love a warm September day right now but I could do without another one like that one. Stay strong all of you who are stir crazy. Warm weather will be here again. Until then, I’m off to make sure no one’s socks are in the toilet.
